The Pager Saga

I have been on call the past three weekends. It's the most call I have had to take consistently ever, but I am essentially paying my dues. Since I will be transitioning and training for my new urgent care position at Saltzer in 3 weeks, I won't be able to take call late February through my last day. So I offered to take the pager now to account for me not being able to take it later.

I have been on edge because of the pager. I am not a person who does well with call, I came to find out. I have never been more irritaed in my life then a couple weekends ago when I was paged by the ER for something at 3am that our group doesn't even do, let alone know anything about. I was paged so much this week that I thought I might lose my mind. It wouldn't bother me if the calls were legit, but they often are not. And some of them are from people who cannot fathom why we won't come in on a Saturday and see them for something non-emergent.

So I have been super crabby and anxious about "the pager" going off. So much that when it went off at 430 today my husband (looking ever so irritated) quickly said, "I cannot wait to never hear THAT THING again." It's pretty funny in retrospect that it even makes my husband insane, but a little more irritating for me in that I am the one who actually has to deal with it.

But I find all these irritations to be a good thing. I thought I really knew who I was as a provider. I thought I knew what I liked and disliked. Now, being a mom, a lot of that has changed. When I am at home, I want to be at home. When I am at work, I am at work. I don't like to muddy the waters and mix the two. I like knowing within an hour of when I will get to go home. I like being good at my job, but I love being able to be a good wife and mother.

So despite the insanity of switching jobs in the third trimester of pregnancy, I am looking forward to this change. I know God has laid all of this out and it's my job to be obedient and follow.