He's a Beast!! (Baby Jesse's 4 month check up)

So we took baby Jessee to his pediatrician for his 4 month appointment today and the results are in: He is 16lbs (clothed and in a diaper), 25 inches long, and 44cm head circumference. Our doctor had a 4th year med student with him- a very nice man named Byron and he walked in the room and the FIRST question he asked was if this was in fact a 4 month or 6 month appointment. Then he said he asked because he acts and looks 6 months old. Baby Jesse was so cute and giggly at his appointment, flirted with EVERYONE and he just tore up the sheet he was on. The med student said, "he is JUST a BEAST!" and I laughed, because he was right.

I'm a little surprised by the length because he is only an inch shorter than Emma and he certainly looks longer than an inch. But eh. His dad is 6ft 4... he will catch up. We decided not to do immunizations today (No I'm not concerned about autism) because he has a cold and feels kinda crummy today. We will take him in for his shots later next week once he is feeling better. I don't have the heart to make him MORE miserable than he already is. Plus, I'm pro-shots so we will be back. Just when he is feeling better.

And baby Jesse is able to pull off his socks. His dad caught him doing it and got a photo. I'll post it a little later.

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I'm going on my first trip alone since the baby has been born, tomorrow. I will be leaving Friday morning and won't be back until Monday morning. It's hitting me now that this is a big deal. sand his dad is quite capable of handling him alone, but I will miss him something terrible. I decided not to go straight to work after our flight Monday realizing how badly I would miss him. I am going to Bellingham, WA with the NNU debate team for a tournament to help judge. I am excited, but nervous to leave my boy. He is just so precious to me.

And we are all recovering from a nasty cold. Im feeling better but have a nagging tickle/cough in my throat that just will NOT go away.

So that's what is going on with us.

Cutting a Tooth

So the past few weeks baby Jesse is usually still his happy go-lucky self, but at night seems to just cry out in pain out of nowhere. And requires more soothing than he normally has so far. I have been massaging his gums with my finger everyday (mostly because he hates pacifers, teething rings and finds mom's finger the most scrumptious thing the world) and recently felt a sharp thing poking out of his top gum. I had Melinda, Jesse, and Esther check and they all agree- it's his first tooth poking out!!

He also discovered his lips and loves blowing raspberry's. He is sooo funny.

Baby Jesse got babysat on Friday by one of my trauma surgeons and his wife. They seemed to really enjoy him. They made lots of comments on how "happy a baby he is" and "how cute he is" Both of which are my favorite topics and NO! I never get tired of hearing about it. Please feel free to go on and on about it. I don't mind. Honest :)

Oh, and meanwhile the husband and I went skiing with the Casos' on Friday. We had a blast too! I loved hanging out with them. And it was fun to race the girls down the hill. Only Danielle beat me (and whoa, is SHE fast!!) down the bunny hill. And no, I don't ski anything else. I tried half of the intermediate hill and fell. So I wanna be a wimp and not ski anything else.

I assisted Dr. Foss in a colostomy takedown Saturday. Yea, Saturday. With me switching jobs soon I have offered to help out whenever needed. It helps when I need days off but ultimately I appreciate the more time I can get in the OR before I become a 50/50 PA (half clinic half OR duties). And I felt like CRAP. Apparently I now have a cold.

And today Jesse, Melinda, and I became members of Nampa First Church of the Nazarene. We went home afterwards and watched movies all day, since none of us are feeling good.

This coming Friday I leave with the NNU debate team to help judge the tournament at Western Washington University. I'm looking forward to an "all expense paid vacation." I know I will miss my little boy, but know I am leaving him in capable hands.

So that's what we are up to. Im just hoping to get over this cold TODAY if at all possible. It's really causing me to drag. I have been feeling down about the weight loss too. I lost 9 lbs and then magically gained 4 back in a day. So maybe that weigh in wasn't accurate. I plan on getting back on the dieting horse once I get better. I can't diet and be sick at the same time.

Angst Towards Journalists....

I'm going to say something about politics, something my sister Erin begs me NOT to do. But I have a point and I will do my best NOT to come off hateful, because it is not the purpose of this rant whatsoever. I enjoyed watching the inauguration yesterday. The president's speech was well-done, and I have no problem with pretty much anything Barack Obama said or did.

I had major problems with the media. Where do they find these uneducated (not to mention highly unattractive) people from? I heard completely moronic things said by people who project themselves as educated and at the top of their field. And no, I don't mean celebrities. Their opinions don't matter to me anyway. Newscasters are already proclaiming him an excellent president in a reverse-racism sort of way. He is a great president because he is an African-American? Don't get me wrong, I am excited about what purely electing him means to our country and overcoming hundreds of years of ignorance, but slow down people! He hasn't done anything yet. He hasn't even had a chance.

As he said, your people will judge you on what you can build (or do) not what you destroy. And I intend to judge him as a president on what he does with his presidency and not by the color of his skin or origin of his name, because it doesn't really matter. Frankly I am MORE excited about the fact he is also the first non-military president we have ever had. And I wonder what limitations (if any) that will have on his decision making abilites with how to use our troops.

I also couldn't stand how many facts about him and his family the reporters could get wrong!?! Whatever happened to responsible journalism? His daughters ages ranged from 5-14 every 5 minutes from the same reporter. Frankly, it makes me sick that broadcasting companies could allow their people to be so ill-informed about such basic information and not hold them accountable for the stupid things they said, and presented as facts. There has been a shift in American journalism. No longer is it "Get the story right, but get the story RIGHT NOW!" We don't care as a culture anymore if what we hear is true. And we don't hold them accountable to tell us the truth. Now a days, it doesn't matter what is true anyway. It's all how you spin it.

And I couldn't believe that some people had the gall to rant about him being too "touchy feely" with his wife! Yea, not really a problem to have a president who actually LOVES and likes his wife. Saves a lot of embarrassment regarding interns, just ask Clinton. And I like a man who wants to stay in contact with his friends, spend time with his daughters, etc. Maybe what needs to happen is for a regular guy to shake up our government a little bit.

And some people are already misrepresenting statistics. I read an article that said President Obama had a 70% on, "American's that wish Barack Obama well." Some newscasters are presenting THAT statistic as an approval rating. Not the same thing. I'm a little surprised there are that many people who can't at LEAST wish him well. But most people I know who didn't vote for him, still wish him well.

I have high hopes for this president. And he promised BIG. At the end of the day, whether you (or I) voted for him or not.. we all hope he can do what he promised. Promote change. Heal our ailing economy, and so forth. And yes, lots of friends are out there and scared of the legislation he might bring forth. Last time I checked he cannot do much alone and has to have the checks and balances support of the different forms of government. It might make us all uncomfortable, but all good change does at first. We like being stuck in our ways. We don't like things to change. But unfortunately, they need to. I am watching intently to see what happens next. But I guess it is all scary and exciting because we don't know. And we do not have much information to base our expectations off from. Lots to ponder......... isn't there?

New Job Offer.....

So as some of you know, I have a job offer at the Spine Institute of Idaho with Dr. Verska and Dr. Jorgenson. I found out Friday evening and have spent the weekend in a limbo of excitement to maintain full-time hours and sadness to leave my current position. Once we sat down and assessed our finances it confirmed what we already knew, we could not afford for me to take a day off a week. With my loans, our mortgage, Jesse going back to school, food- we simply could not make ends meet.

So Jesse started looking. And we have come to the realization that Idaho's job market is bleak, and even then he is over-qualified or under-qualified for nearly every open position. We also have friends looking for employment currently and have no bites. So as I have said before, we gave up on that aspect at this very moment in time.

So officially I will be accepting St. Al's severance package and taking on the new position towards the end of February. I am blessed with wonderful surgeons and staff who are sad to see me go, but very sympathetic and understanding of me leaving. And I am blessed with a new office that seems very excited to have me there and is state of the art in nearly every way.

Please pray for me as I make this transition over the next month/ month and a half. And we will be praying for you. We know that we are not alone in being effected by the turmoil of todays economy. As our friend Phil says, "President Elect Obama owes me 30 metric tons of hope!"

In Your Eyes....

I woke up this morning and was surprised, my eyes (though still blue) were a VERY different blue then I have seen in my reflection the past week. They HAD been a stormy cloudy blue and now are a very light sky blue. My first thoughts were, I cannot seriously be this transparent?!?

But, evidently- I am. My loving husband confirms that not only can I NOT hide things well anyways, but my eyes give me away too. I was not aware that my eyes were my own mood rings. No wonder I was never really all that into them. Like I needed one more extrinsic predictor of how I feel.

I will have more announcements for you all Monday. This weekend I am trying to clean my house and make some major decisions about where to go from here. Instead, I am happier playing with my adorable baby boy, watching movies, and resting.

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Jesse (Sr) is now in all his education classes and enjoying it. Still no job offers, but we have pretty much given up on looking. He is already too busy with his occassional substitute teaching, being a full-time daddy (and a GREAT one at that), helping out with the house, doing manly "fix it" projects. And I'd rather him focus on that instead of stressing out and trying to find a job in today's economy. But I was thrilled to see that the Idaho jobless rate had actually improved this week!

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Jesse Jay is coming into his own. Although he is still a VERY good boy he has developed a trait of mine- he is very good at expressing himself and has very little patience to deal with life when he is agitated or hungry. He is soooooo talkative too. He has gone to NNU with his daddy a time or two and just babbles on and on to anyone who will listen.

Oh, and I about DIED from laughter at Sunday school when someone asked for prayer for their daughter who had a diarrheal illness. And the moment he said it, he blew out his diaper! It was pretty bad and I needed assistance just to clean him up.

Did I tell you he sits up assisted now and can roll from his back onto his side, but loves to mess with mommy's hopes of seeing him roll over by stopping short and giving me a devious smile that suggests "psych!"

We are discussing WHEN to move him back into his crib and his room. We tentativly are thinking at 4 months, but maybe today. I think he ultimately sleeps better without us waking him up and such.

And people at church keep mentioning that his eyes are "turning." Some suggest hazel and others brown. My eyes are blue (I'm sure you figured that out) and his dad's are all colors. The insides are brown around the iris, the middles are greenish and the outside is blue. I have looked at his eyes and they still look like mine (blue). I cannot for the life of me find a shimmer of brown or green in them. I wish for him my eye color, and although ultimately whatever God blesses him with is fine. But my gut hope is that he will get my eye color. And hey, it'll be nice to read him like a book and know how he is feeling without him saying a word.

Some Good News, Love God

So, I've been avoiding blogging because given recent events I have dealt with a lot of emotions (good and bad) and have had multiple struggles with God, letting him take control of the situation. It's an annoying habit, I know to trust in him completely, but until I can see a glimpse of his plan I live in paralyzing FEAR :O. And since I am always an open book, I don't hide what I am feeling well. I truly do wish I was better at this because sometimes I do want to keep things to myself, but I simply cannot. Hence why having a husband I can tell EVERYTHING to is vital to my mere existance.

So I have been dealing with the various stages of grief: denial, crying, anger. I have not handled this in ways I would be proud of on a consistent basis. But now, there is a calmness of the spirit and I am ok. God has a plan, and was kind of enough to clue me in, almost since first hearing the news about cutbacks.

Jesse has been searching for jobs but is disheartened by the fact that many of our friends aren't finding jobs either. He is over qualified for many things and under qualified in those he could do given the massive layoffs at Micron. Him finding a job doesn't look like an immediate solution. He is busy with homework for the ACE program, helping out a ton with housework and taking care of Jesse Jay, etc.. etc. We also found out DirecTV is running under the radar and is letting people go (at layoff levels) for performance issues without any warning. We are sure that had Jesse not left THEM in November he would have been let go this month.

I discussed our families current situation with my boss and let her know SOMETHING has to give. Either I needed to look around or.. I dunno. But we couldn't afford this cut in hours at this point in our lives. Given that this IS the internet- I will not go into too much detail but to say that options have presented themselves. Huge "God is in this" types of opportunities. Though nothing is official yet, there are a lot of possibilities out there and SOMETHING will work out. Over the past few days I have seen co-workers, friends, family help out and offer encouragement to us in Goliath-like quantities. As I have always said, this is why we moved back to Idaho. Thank you for your help, your encouragement, your love for us. It has helped us so much during a difficult time. And thanks for your prayers. They sure seem to be working!!!

Please Pray........

The official word came today. My job is not being let go, but I am being cutback a day a week due to the economy slowing, people not being sent to St. Al's as often as they have been for their trauma issues, etc. This comes as quite a shock to us and we would appreciate your continued prayers in this regard.

Jesse is now back at NNU getting his teaching credentials through the ACE program and is not working currently. He is looking for something to help with this loss of hours but has heard nothing promising as of yet. We were having a hard enough time getting by on my salary alone and this just pinches pennies tighter and we didnt have room for additional pinching.

I am just.......????

Please keep us in your prayers. I'm not really sure what to do from this point. I know God's plan is somewhere in this but have yet to see the immediate plan he has in store which makes me scared and anxious.