On April 17th at 1:43 pm we had our little boy and have been enjoying him ever since. I wrote his birth story for him and to share with you all. I warn you that it is long and at times somewhat graphic (I talk about vomit and such). Read ahead at your own risk....
Tobin David Maddux’s Birth Story
It started out with a 38 (and a half week) appointment with my OB Dr. Anstine at 9am that morning. I had been cramping on and off all week, but nothing reliable or that continued. She did her physical examination and told me that my cervix had changed from a 1 to a 2. I was so excited as this had not happened with Jesse Jay. We still were planning to induce Toby on April 22nd, assuming he probably wouldn’t come on his own.
After that appointment I felt pretty crampy and a little miserable. I walked as much as I could. I stopped at Winco and picked up some snack and lunch items as I had to work that night, and then I spent some time at Aunt Sarah’s house with Jesse Jay. I went to work around noon. I continued to feel crampy; but nothing consistent or too significant. It was enough to get one of my friends to insist I didn’t get up and walk around too much because she needed me there the entire shift, and didn’t want to be left alone.
After work, I came home and told my husband Jesse I was having a lot of back pain and nausea. It wasn’t consistent or reproducible, but I wanted to go walk with him and Jesse Jay around the neighborhood. So we did. It got the contractions to start coming in what seemed like a more identifiable and reproducible pattern.
After our walk we started cleaning the house some as we knew this might be the real thing. He kept a clock and I told him every time I felt a significant cramp. They weren’t exact but came every 3-7 minutes. We called Melinda (our roommate) to see what she was up to that night, because we were possibly going to be heading to the hospital in the near future. She had plans that night to go out with a friend (Gabe Ward), but she changed her plans to renting a movie and coming home to be available for watching Jesse Jay. They rented Inglorious Besterds with Brad Pitt. After getting a good bit of cleaning done, I asked Jesse to start packing our bag and grabbing the camera’s. He got everything packed and put in the car.
At this point, the contractions were still spacing every 5-10 minutes and varying in intensity. So we sat and watched the movie with Melinda and Gabe. About an hour and a half into the movie, my contractions were every 4-5 minutes and starting to get stronger. So we got into the car and headed to the hospital. Jesse drove just like he always does, to the letter of the law. He was calm and composed the entire time.
We arrived at St Luke’s Regional Medical Center in downtown Boise at 1am. And the experience at that point was kind of awful. The lady up front asked me my name and to sign in. When I told her my name, she acted shocked and said, “aren’t you scheduled for an induction the 22nd?” And I told her I was. She said (annoyed tone of voice), “Well, let me go find your chart. I JUST put it away.” After they tracked it down they got me back and put into a gown. The nurse who came in was very plain Jane, not chatty in the slightest, and did not seem interested at all with why I was there. I think I even overheard her say, “She really came in for ONLY contractions??” She checked me and asked what I had been at the appointment the morning prior. I told her and she said, “well, you’re still a 2. Let’s get you walking for an hour and if we can get that to change at all, we can keep you.”
She saw the look of disappointment on my face and decided to soften then. She told Jesse to take me walking anywhere that was open in the hospital to try and make the baby come. So we put me in my pants (I was determined not to be underwear or pantless on this trek) and literally walked the entirety of open units at 1am at the hospital. We got to see the underbelly of the hospital and all the pretty artwork without the general hustle and bustle. We learned more then we ever cared to know about that hospital, this is how long that walk seemed to take. It didn’t help that only two three of the 10 floors were open either.
Midway through we realized the cafeteria was open. I insisted Jesse get something caffeinated as he was falling asleep at the drop of a hat. The two guys working that night were so nice. They gave Jesse an employee discount and said, “Trust me buddy. YOU are working tonight.” He got a diet pepsi and we continued to walk. It did nothing for his drowsiness, however.
An hour later we come back for a recheck. My nurse let me sit awhile and the contractions were even stronger and closer together. She checks me, and I am still a 2, but my cervix had widened. She puts me on the monitor and we don’t see her for another hour. We came to find out later they had kept me to monitor me as my contractions were regular and increasing in intensity, but they were concerned because with every contraction, Toby’s heart rate did not vary. After putting me on my left-side they saw the variability and decided to send me home. I was a little irritated she didn’t check me again because my contractions were getting closer and more intense.
She came in to let us go home and admitted that I was having “by the text book” contractions, but it wasn’t time just yet and to go home (take the Ambien) and get some rest. She went over additional signs that meant I needed to come back and told me I would just “know” when to come back. I couldn’t maintain composure anymore and told her that “I just knew to come in this morning and it wasn’t time, so no.. I am not quite sure how I will just know.” She gave me a list of symptoms that I needed to return for and apologized.
We left and I kept apologizing to my husband who wasn’t even irritated or mad in the slightest. As we are walking outside, we see all these police cars and fire engines and smell smoke. A guy in the parking lot tells us, “the parking lot looks like a volcano exploded!” And it certainly did! Our car had ash and soot all over it. Apparently East Jr High in Boise was on fire nearby and we could see it as we drove back.
Half way home my Ambien started kicking in and the lights on the freeway were a little too much. It started looking like some fun house at the fair, I was tripping out. So I closed my eyes until we got home. Jesse had to help me to bed when we got there as I was a lot dizzy and stumbling like a drunk. I slept for an hour and woke up to terrible cramping that made me have to get up and run to the bathroom every time they happened. That’s when I noticed the bleeding. I woke Jesse up and told him I was going to shower, but to make himself breakfast because they said I could go back if I was bleeding. He offered to make me breakfast too, but I said no. I wanted to throw up I was hurting so bad.
We came out of our room to the delightful toddler babbling of Jesse Jay playing with aunt Melinda. He was so excited to see me, but I couldn’t fathom picking him up. This really bothered him. He was also distraught by mommy’s every 4 minutes of 45 seconds of “owie, owie, ow, ow…..” So my husband quickly finished breakfast and we got in the car to get checked a second time.
When we arrived we had to do all the same paperwork as before, despite having been there only 4 hours ago. These nurses were much nicer and far more pleasant. They also had me change and sent in a nurse quickly. They checked me and I was a 4, nearly 5cm dilated! She smiled and told me I was going to be admitted, and she was calling Dr. Carlson (who was on call for my OB and ironically the man who delivered Jesse Jay). I adore this man!
The paperwork and lab work seemed to take forever. The IV was quickly started as my nurse was a flight nurse for babies and used to starting IVs in the most difficult of conditions. I didn’t bruise or anything. Another nurse came in, who we recognized as Jesse Jay’s baby nurse. She was coming to recheck everything and was going to be MY L&D nurse. We adore her, and were elated by this. The contractions, meanwhile, were getting stronger and more insane. Jesse had to keep reminding me to breath as I wanted to hold my breath. I started getting cranky and told him, “I don’t want to breath. It hurts!”
I kept asking the nurses if my blood work came back yet, and when would I be getting my epidural. It seemed to take forever. Finally they were ready to move me to my L&D room and asked if I wanted to walk or go via wheelchair? I told them I wanted to walk as it might help the little guy along. We walked and halfway there I had to stop and breath through another contraction. After it ended we got to the room where they started hooking me up to all kinds of machinery. The contractions were getting to where I couldn’t just sit there and had to move with them. Luckily my nurse was very understanding about this as she waited to hook me up to more monitoring equipment.
Finally, an angel descended from the clouds which was my epidural and the delightful lady who brought it. Moments after receiving it, I was so happy. I told my husband I now knew what people with kidney stones felt like, and I didn’t ever want to feel THAT again. It was amazing going from a 10 out of 10 pain to 0 out of 10. I thought with my contractions that I was all over the place and erratic. My nurse told me after the epidural that actually, I was stoic. And they couldn’t believe how little pain I was showing them when the monitors and checks suggested I should be quite miserable. I told her I was certainly feeling it, but didn’t feel it necessary to take it out on them!
Once I was happy, my husband was instructed to go get something to eat NOW as I was at 9 cm dilated and Dr Carlson would be arriving shortly. So he ran out to Carl’s Jr. Every time he goes to that place, we end up calling him saying, get back quickly please. This was no exception. Dr. Carlson walks in and tells me I am 9.5cm dilated and he and could be ready very soon. The problem is, he had a funeral he had to go to at 1:30pm. It was noon and he wanted to break my water, but the baby could come quickly after that. So he told me to call Jesse, and tell him Dr. Carlson wanted him back. Naturally he was stuck in a drive through line. I told Dr. Carlson to go ahead and break my water, as Jesse was going to be there any moment. So he did.
The nurse started getting me hooked up to Pitocin. But after a few moments and checks, they realized Toby wouldn’t be there in the next 30 minutes, so Dr. Carlson was going to let me labor down. Hopefully I could wait until he got back, but if not his back up was on his way- Dr. Carter.
Dr Carter isn’t my favorite in the practice, but nor is he my least favorite. He is a man’s-man which is a little awkward in your OB. But he has always been nice and direct with me. He tells a lot of jokes, and tried to keep the mood light. Even when it maybe shouldn’t be.
So we waited to see what would happen. Jesse ate and pretended he was going to rest, which he didn’t at all despite the nurse and I insisting. At 1:25 pm, my nurse came back in and I told her that I unfortunately was feeling the need to push (but no pain mind you). She checked me and got a big look in her eyes, and told them to grab the resident as Dr. Carter was stuck in traffic. She checked me and told me his head was literally “right there” and to avoid pushing for now.
Dr Carter walked in and quickly changed into scrubs. He had the nurses help position my legs as they were completely dead from the epidural. My husband grabbed the camera and stayed up by my head. Dr Carter told me that I needed to follow his pushing instructions very carefully to avoid a tear. I followed and after a push and a half, Toby was here! His father cut the umbilical cord (more nervously the second time around then the first). And they gave him to me immediately and for a good 5 minutes before they took him away to clean him. He wasn’t as blue as his brother had been, but just as stoic and quiet. He didn’t cry. He just looked around as if to say, “Hey world. I’m here. Eh, not what I was expecting, but it will do.” I noticed immediately that he had my chin! It’s a very defining “Arendt” trait mind you. But he looked like a smaller version of Jesse Jay. His nose is slightly more petite too. We now joke that we found a good blueprint and just stuck with that design.
As he laid on my belly, he started peeing everywhere and almost nailed his father in the face. It made everyone laugh. Soon they took him to clean him up. I needed only one stitch. Dr. Carter congratulated us, told us a couple jokes, and left. Toby weighed 7lbs 6.4 oz, was 20 inches long with a beautiful round head of 13.5inches. His physical exam was perfect, no problems. The only defining feature I noticed was the top of his ears are a little bent over. And that will resolve with time.
Soon after my sister-in-law came and saw him and cuddled him. She left and then Melinda came with Jesse Jay who at first ignored Toby. But after awhile, he warmed up and started kissing him. There was one instance where he poked Toby in the eye with his finger, but was yelled at by all three adults in the room and was frightened from doing that again.
I started feeling nauseous, and had nothing to get sick into. I took the top lid from my meal tray and told Melinda, “you might wanna turn around, because this isn’t going to be pretty.” To which, she happily obliged and was showing Jesse Jay stuff outside the window. I felt better afterwards. The nurse came in with my Zofran (a little late) and apologized. But then she giggled and said, “only a healthcare professional would THINK to turn over the top of their plate cover to vomit into.” She was grateful I hadn’t made a bigger mess to clean up as well, because I had warned her much earlier that I was feeling nauseous.
Dr Carlson returned from the funeral at 3pm, and looked legitimately disappointed he had missed it. He did laugh when he mentioned, “so… one and a half pushes huh? I think he was pretty adamant to be here.”
Soon they moved me upstairs and Melinda left to go get my mom, who had gotten a plane ticket that day to help us out and meet the newest grandson. She quickly returned with all three of them. They also went out and got us Red Robin for dinner, which is a tradition from Jesse Jay’s birth. And oh, it was delicious.
That night we kept Toby with us until 2am, but we were exhausted. We agreed that since he needed his hearing test we might as well let them take him for part of the night so we could get some amount of sleep. We had the nicest nurse, Rachael who stayed with him the entire time and gave me a detailed report of the happenings in his life the 4 hours we were apart. He ate some, passed his hearing test, and did beautifully. He was a “very good newborn.”
The next day I got a shower in and was mildly disappointed that it wasn’t as rejuveniating as it had been last time. Dr Carlson came in again. He still felt bad about missing the birth, but we completely understood. And Dr Carter did a good job. He asked me when I wanted to go home and told me not to hesitate, that if I needed anything to let him know. This was between all the jokes and good humor he is widely known for, mind you.
The pediatrician who was to see Toby wasn’t on that weekend, so we saw Dr. Hanson who was taking call for him. He is the nicest peds hematologist-oncologist you’d ever meet, but hasn’t done a well-newborn exam in 12 years. So he was very thorough, checking everything twice. He was absolutely delightful! He asked about circumcision, which thankfully we already had planned to do with Dr. Freeman who is the boys’ new doctor at Saltzer Medical Group. Imagine, a circumcision from a guy who hasn’t done one in 12 years… I think not.
The nurses were very good and thorough. They brought me a shot of rhogam since my blood type is negative and all of my boys are positive. They did the PKU test with dad and I took the moment to rest with Jesse Jay, whom my mom and Melinda had left with us at my request.
When they came back; Toby, Jesse Jay and I snuggled in my bed. It was getting close to when we wanted to leave so we started getting Toby and I in our going home clothes and gathered our stuff. A very nice orderly came to take us down. I got into the obscenely large wheelchair (it was all she could find) and when she saw Jesse Jay get jealous that I wasn’t holding him too, she picked him up and placed him on my other leg. He loved it! She even let him push all the buttons on the elevator. He was so proud of himself.
We got to the car and Jesse took Toby to get him in, and I got Jesse Jay in. The nice orderly put our stuff in the trunk. We all piled in and for the first time ever, drove home as a family. Jesse Jay kept pointing to the baby saying, “baby” and smiling at me. The ride was a peaceful and quiet one.
We came home to lasagna my mom had cooked. And it was delicious. The first few nights with Toby were a little difficult, but he still is a very good newborn. The only thing he is quite stubborn about is sleeping on his own. He likes to co-sleep and wakes up every 20 minutes otherwise. It is hard to put this baby boy down to even pee. But I’ll let it go, because I am blessed with two wonderful and laid back little boys. And we are so glad that Toby is finally here. We are now a family of four.
