Last Days of Our Time in Bremerton, Washington

I don't mean to jinx it or anything, but no rashes or weird allergic reactions for over three days now. We have it narrowed down to two possible scenarios. Either I was in fact allergic to the Baby Night time Lavander and Chamomille bath soap or I was allergic to the new shirt I got from Old Navy (but hadn't washed prior). I am meeting and getting tested with an allergist on January 7th, 2009 to hopefully narrow down which of these was the culprit. Personally, I am just a fan of NOT going to the ER ever.

Our last few days have been good but vacations tend to go by far too fast. Baby Jesse is still more fussy than his normal self (which is probably still less than average for most babies) and drooling everywhere. We are starting to get so used to his spit up that I generally don't freak out when it pops up unexpectedly. I have really enjoyed being a full-time mom the past 10 days.

Tomorrow we have to get on a plane freakishly early (we leave Bremerton at 3am to make our 615am flight out of Sea-Tac) to Boise where I have already committed to going to work. Jesse and Melinda will hang around the airport until 1015ish to pick up Jesse's mom who is flying in to meet Emma for the very first time and "spoil her grandkids."

So I will leave you with some cute photos already on myspace and facebook, but definately some of my favorites from the trip!

Daddy and Baby. They both sleep so easily and I am soooo jealous! Aren't they precious?

Bath time!! This was a new bath (shaped like an inflatable duck pool) and the look on his face says it all, "mom are we sure about this cuz its new and I'm not too sure you know what you're doing?"

Merry Christmas and Happy Teething....

I keep saying baby Jesse might be teething, but this time we are pretty sure. The past couple days he has had hours of crying that are just inconsolable. Poor guy. And he is drooling A LOT!! and he is gnawing on his burp cloths. Poor guy.

We are enjoying our time in Bremerton but have been limited in visiting friends in the area. The snow was so bad Grandma and Grandpa Johnson couldn't make it up from Portland, OR to see the great grandkids :(. I have a few people we have wanted to see before we go back and that isn't looking all that promising either.

Christmas eve and Christmas were very nice. Baby Jesse (and us) made out like bandits. He got all kinds of toys, books and stuff. We got some attachments to our Kitchen Aid, an apple corer that Jesse has been salivating over all year, and a gift card to Kohl's and Starbucks. And um.. Santa showed up for pictures on Christmas with the boys. Convenient, right?

I have enjoyed sleeping in this week very much (especially since being on Benadryl has made me especially sleepy) but did NOT enjoy my Christmas night dream. I kept dreaming I got fired or laid off and we moved back to Bremerton. And everytime I would wake up and try to get my wits about me, I'd fall asleep again to continue the same dream. Not very restful, that's for sure! I was glad to get up this morning.

And although having nothing to do is nice occassionally, it gets old after a few days. So I am glad to be able to work and support my family. Don't get me wrong, there are more days than not that I salivate at the thought of being a stay at home mom. But it's not what God has called me to do at this point. And sometimes its nice to be able to take some time to get a "taste" of what that life would be. The pasture is always greener on the other side.

I'm sure you've noticed I have posted a lot lately. I have at least 5 babysitters fighting for time with the baby (so unless he is inconsolable, he is theirs- even if I whine for him a bit). I am trying to keep busy and not focus on feeling itchy (Sshhhhhh don't tell but-it's been working the past 24 hours). It also doesn't help we are snowed in. Then add my personality on steroids and thats the making for a lot of pent up energy. I was getting cabin fever SO bad Jesse and I walked the mile and a half to Wal-Mart in the freezing cold snow just so we could "get out" yesterday. It was nice to spend time alone with my husband. It was also nice to be active. I am far too extroverted for my own good.

Merry Christmas to you all. Hope it's a good one. We are going to focus on enjoying our last few days here and then we fly out early morning Monday (and I gotta get to work). So please keep our travel in your prayers. It's supposed to continue to snow, and snow, and snow!!

Beyond Frustrated....

Last night, as I wrote on my Facebook.com profile, I was "feeling a bit itchy. Hopefully it's all psychosomatic (in my head). But it wasn't. I woke up this morning to increased irritation and rash. I promptly took my benadryl which was due to be taken at that time. I woke up three hours later not feeling much better so I took my steroids. 6 hours later I am still moderately miserable. Hrrumpff!!

I called the allergists and made an appointment for the 7th of January in their Meridian office for testing/workup to get this problem identified. I know I am allergic to cats, grass, dust mites, and scotchbroom. None of which should have worsened by coming to Washington. Plus, I have never reacted like this. I have noticed the rash seems most prolific in areas my clothes are a smidgen tighter (straps, waist lines, etc.) It may be the new laundry soap we are using so my mom has washed all my clothes to see if that helps. I am taking showers now without any soap to eliminate that as the cause.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I am feeling extremely down (call it 'roid rage, whatever) and have magically gained 5lbs in 2 days from the pills. This has been no fun and my husbands eyes say it all.. "I wish I could help, or figure it out, or something." But no real answers yet. This has gotten beyond annoying.

Christmas Vacations, Severe Allergic Reactions, and Trips to the ER

So we are in Bremerton now visiting family and despite the buckets of snow it has been a really good trip. Yesterday I decided to take a bath with baby Jesse. Mom had this chamomille & lavender bath Night time ease stuff that I used. I have some at home I just hadn't used it yet. After some pictures of the two boys had at the mall (a herendous feat yesterday!) we got lunch and came home to watch movies and play games.

Some where around 7pm I noticed I was breaking out in a rash. Jesse went up the hill and asked our neighbors for Benadryl which I promptly took. We went to bed and I woke up at 3am feeling like I had a pill stuck in my throat and itching like crazy. Jesse got me some water which I chugged down trying to dislodge the annoying pill. And it was time for more benadryl. At 6am I woke up to my face swollen. Lips, eyes and everything. I walked to the bathroom to take a look and got insanely dizzy. Before I had a chance to get to Jesse I went crashing through the bedroom door to the floor. Jesse asked if I was ok. I said, "Get dad. I think I am having some trouble breathing."

Now I should tell you it snowed buckets here yesterday. At least 6 inches and its still snowing. So dad and Jesse go out to put chains on the tires to take me to the ER. I tried calling all the prompt care places around and all of them didnt open until 9am- and thats if they did considering the weather. I also tried calling my insurance company but that inevitably ended in, "if you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again." Grrrrr...

So we (Big Jesse, me, and dad) went to the hospital and luckily the lady at the counter was a sweet heart! When she asked why I was there I said, "Im having a severe allergic reaction to something." And she responded, "Clearly." And the triage nurse came and got me back to a room within seconds. They asked a lot of questions but ultimately gave me a ton of medications. I got epinephrine (which made me talk REALLY fast- and made Jesse laugh at me A LOT), benadryl (which makes you sick feeling, hecka sleepy, and impeded my short-term memory), and steroids. I was not having difficulty breathing if I was not moving. But when I'd exercise it was harder. Plus, me passing out was a special level of awesome.

After a couple hours they sent us home. It was pretty difficult trying to get home but unfortunately Jesse and mom have been going all over trying to find an open pharmacy. They called recently and just found one in the next town. I have been mostly sleeping all day so I was sleeping off some of the swelling, I'm told my lips looked awesome. Angeline Jolie like. Not as cute when the eyelids did it too. But now I am half as swollen and waiting for my wonderful husband to bring me drugs. I was so glad we went though because since it was progessing despite the benadryl and who knows what would have happened if I didn't go in. Jesse pretty much made me go. He says I am often not a good patient because I will wait until something is REALLY bad. I wish he were lying but he knows me pretty well.

The doctor thinks the baby bubble bath is what I was severely allergic too (Kimmie is allergic too). So no more lavender and chamomille bath for Baby Jesse. Luckily he hasn't reacted or anything. I still feel like I have a pill stuck in my throat and hopefully that will go down as the swelling decreases. I will be on benadryl and steroids the next few days and now I get to have epi-pens with me forever and always!

Our vacation has been good though. I'm bummed because I want to meet old friends and show off baby Jesse but can't because we are snowed in. I have gotten to see my nephew a lot and he is a kick in the pants. I have also gotten to spend a lot of time with family and friends.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers. I'd be great if this didnt happen again. But we feel good knowing we have stuff in case it gets bad again. And we've thrown out the baby bath stuff.

A Hodge Podge of Thoughts and Emotions

I'm in a really weird mood. I have felt antsy and unsettled all day. I am really excited about our trip to Washington but nervous as we expect to get a snow storm in a couple hours. I worry this will effect us leaving. I also worry because I know my parents got dumped on with snow and my dad is coming to pick us up from the airport. Considering I work with Trauma, I especially don't want to be a trauma patient.

And I also worry about jobs. I enjoy my job a lot and there are rumors flying around that lay offs are imminent. I have thought about other specialties I'd like, just in case things get bad, but I really, really like my job. I tend to get bored with the same ol' same ol' monotony of some specialties, but trauma is rarely boring. Just when you think you have seen it all, someone comes up with a new creative way to hurt themself.

I am so discouraged by the economy. People I know that usually are so calm and level headed are running around like Chicken Little screaming that the sky is falling! And yea things seem pretty awful, but I am a believer that ignorance is bliss in this regard.

I hate to say this- but things being so bad have helped me to change my attitude and realize how good we have it. We live by a budget now since I am designated sugar mama, but we can always make ends meet. I have a good job. Not only making a decent sized paycheck, but the doctors, nurses, and staff I work with are wonderful. I think of them as my mentors and friends. They care about my family and I more than just as their PA. They got just as excited as we did about Baby Jesse's arrival. It was as though he wasn't just our baby, but theirs as well. So should something happen to my job I would be crushed, because I love it. But God is so good. He has given my heart peace. No matter what, it will be ok. I don't know how it will be, but I know it will be ok.

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Being a mom has softened my heart so much. And I really do have a perfect little boy. He smiles and coo's and giggles. His newest thing is to pull himself up to a sitting position from reclining. He kinda stinks at it though because he promptly falls over. I have nicknamed him Hercules. He started getting that nickname in utero from when I was waiting to see Dr. Anstine for my OB appointment and he was pushing his legs up into my ribs. I would puch down on his little feet and he pushed back so hard once he literally lifted my hand off my belly. He still grabs people tightly. And as I would whine to Sarah, he could pinch my neck from day one so hard it would leave tears in my eyes.

But he is God's blessing. A precious boy. I love coming home from work and cuddling him close. But he is such a good baby that other people also want to hold him a lot. God gave him to us to protect and raise, but I feel like he isn't MY property. And I love sharing him with other people. They say it takes a village to raise a child so I want them to know that we want them to love Jesse and to be a part of his life. I don't want to shut them out of these precious moments. I don't think it's possible for a person to have too many people that care about them. If it is, I guess we will deal with that when we get there.
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I appreciate people like you. You care enough to check this silly blog to know how we are doing. And thank you. Please continue to keep the job situation, Jesse going back to school, our trip to Washington in your prayers. And please let us know anytime how we can pray for you.

But I really should get to packing my bag. And I should make sure my husband packed adequately for Baby Jesse.

Ow, Owie, Owch!!

Ughh, I want my mommy! I have been fighting of a dreaded cold far too long and now its taken its residence in my sinuses and ears in the form of infection. I hate feeling sick. And not sick enough not to go to work but sick enough to be MISERABLE there. I usually feel better in the morning and somewhere around 1230 feel terrible.

So I got done with rounds early today and there were no surgeries scheduled for today. Considering I need to get in freakishly early tomorrow to round on patients and assist with a skin graft and laparoscopic gall bladder removal in the morning, I decided to come home early today and try and fend off the aforementioned infections.

I come home to a babyless house. Jesse (and Jesse) are at NNU figuring out how to become a teacher when he is all grown up (the quickest most conveinent way possible) and it sounds like the promises of the ACE program are too good to be true and they are basically asking him to go back to school all over again. And granted I may be making this out to be MORE than it is- but I don't care because I don't feel good!!

Could I be any bigger of a baby myself? Probably not.

I'd be lying if I said I was understanding about when things don't go my way and I have a great attitude about it. But, I never do. I don't like it when things go a different way than I anticipated. I struggle to constantly remind myself that things ought not to go my way, but they should go God's way. It always works out better. I would NEVER have married or dated Jesse if things always went my way. In retrospect my way often leds to misery and just plain SUCKS. But I feel so ridiculous! I know my way sucks and when things arent going my way they are usually going God's way. It works out so well and always has. So why can't that be my automatic response. Why is my initial gut reaction to be such a turd about these things?

God's still working on me. But I wonder if I will ever be mature enough in my Christianity to have a great attitude when things aren't going my way. I definately want to but my entirety just rejects change outright. And I love change. But then again, clearly I don't! Does that even make sense?

I am ready to be well again. Part of my poor attitude is wrapped up in the misery I generally feel from being sick. And truthfully, part of me is bummed. I love Christmas and it just doesn't feel like Christmas this year. I am sincerely hoping that when we get on that plane it will become real. I think it was a bad idea not to put up a Christmas tree or lights this year. I figured since we are spending Christmas in Washington this year it was pointless. It would just be a reason to be ticked off at the cats (and honestly I don't need any MORE reasons to feel that way).

Still a babyless house, but Jesse just called to say they were on their way home. I need to cuddle my boy and hold him close. He won't make me chicken soup or rub my back to make me feel better, his father will. But just holding him in so many ways makes me feel better.

So while in pain and desperately wanting it all to feel better.....
........... I want my baby!

And I am so blessed with a wonderful and understanding husband. His number one priority is his family (Okay, God then family). And this man really lives it! I think the majority of us often occasionally forget our priorities and put our jobs, etc as our focus. But he never does. People often ask me if I can clone him (No! Mine!) because they too see what I see- he is a wonderful father and husband. And I think I have only gotten as far in life as I have because of him. We are going on our first date since Baby Jesse was born Saturday and I am excited! Dr. Casos and his wife are watching baby Jesse for us while we do dinner and a movie (Thanks for the free movie tickets DirecTV!) and I can't wait for us to reconnect.

No baby. No husband. Does it really take this long to drive 2 and a half miles? I am loaded up on medication and ready for family cuddle time. AHhhhh! The garage door is opening. I'm going to get a good dose of baby and husband love. That outta cure me of my ailments!

My Little Boy is a Monster

Ok, I know that sounds bad but what I mean is, since Emma's birth Sunday November 30th I keep looking at him and he just looks ginormous!! Of course a two month old that weighs 12lbs 4 oz is average for a boy, when you put him next to Emma he just looks HUGE! He is giggling up a storm and cooing as much as ever. But despite Emma being a big newborn- I still look at the two of them and secretly (not so secret now) feel like he could eat her for breakfast.

And there is this new annoying trait he has. When I come home and say hello he looks at me like "And you are???" Like I don't have enough guilt about being a working mom! But in all honesty he is a great little boy. I think about him constantly while I am at work. Wondering what he is doing, etc. And people love to tell me their horror colic stories from their children. I appreciate this because Jesse and I would like to wait until he finishes school to have another baby. But it does gain me an incredible appreciation for how good a baby he is. Sometimes I find it all surreal- I am a mom. It's incredible but my son (and my husband) make it pretty darn easy on me.

I am excited for his first Christmas but I am accepting of the fact that it will probably be kind of lame since he won't really 'get it' yet. Baby Ward probably will love ripping through presents. That ought to be fun to watch.

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Big Jesse starts classes soon to become a secondary science teachers and I will most likely be a bonafide sugar mama. Which I kind of like. Jesse worked full-time while I went to PA school and he was also getting his Master's degree. So I get to "pay-it-forward" so to speak. And I love the idea of Jesse having summers off, holidays, a professional respected career, monday-friday 8-5 kind of gig. And anyone who knows Jesse thinks he will make an EXCELLENT teacher.

I am still at St. Alphonsus working trauma and really enjoy my job. Lately I have been able to get into the OR more (mostly because I am no longer pregnant- a condition that insisted I get nauseous and try to pass out everytime I'd enter the operating room) and learn more procedures. My doc's are also very good teachers and have been taking me under their wing a lot lately. So even though it's winter I have been staying busy and so has the service. Despite a horrible economy so far it seems like my job is safe. Though I hardly think many people feel that way at the moment. If you wouldn't mind, pray that it stays that way. It's a little more important I not be laid off since we just bought a house, had a baby, and I am the sugar mama of our family.

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I am looking forward to a week off at Christmas though. It will be nice to spend some time in Washington with th family and catch up with some friends I haven't seen in awhile. It'll be nice to visit Seattle (I love that city!) and spend time with my sisters and my nephew. Mom & Dad are so great with the grandkids- I just love watching them interact. My parents were great but they make fantastic grandparents!

So that's what we are up too. I have very little time. And my husband has gotten to cuddle the baby far too long and I need to steal him back! ;)