Here are some thoughts I had on my drive home today....
Leaving my son every morning is not getting easier, it gets harder-
With every passing day he gets cuter, funnier, and more of a personality. Leaving that is impossible. I am, however, amazed at God's strength to literally lift my feet off the ground and get me to work (safe too).
The ONLY reason I can tolerate it is my son is blessed with an amazing aunt-
She loves to watch him and is as diligent about the baby details as I am. I trust her as much as I trust myself with him. Not many people that have to work have that kind of blessing.
I feel incredibly guilty about working-
Like I will miss out on the little stuff like his first steps or something. And that on my death bed I won't feel like I should have spent one more moment working, so I should spend more time with my son.
However, I come home and just love on him. That whole absence makes the heart grow fonder is totally applicable. I hardly hand him over when I am at home. I love cuddling him and just admiring every new detail I learn about him (have I mentioned he has the most beautiful eyelashes- and LONG).
I believe that I will always think my baby is smarter, more attractive than any other baby that has ever exsisted-
Every detail about him I hang on to. So when the doctor is impressed that he is more alert than most 6 weeks old he has seen- I'll take it a step farther. My son is the smartest baby ever.
My son is more exciting than TV-
Every noise, blowing bubbles, passing gas, funny faces, smiles are way more exciting than anything else in the entire world. I am perfectly content staring at him to see what he does next. Sounds wicked boring, but it is my form of entertainment.
It's still a little hypocritical but my baby's spit up isnt gross. All others is- Thats right. My baby can spit up on my shirt and I am not nearly as bothered by it as I am if its another baby. In fact, I have lived in it when I was on maternity leave. Gross right?
I am already planning another baby-
And I think it's because my labor with him is not what I expected and I want a second chance to "get it right." Like that matters but thats all I can figure out. Also, baby Jesse is an awesome baby. But we need to get (husband) Jesse through school and I need to focus on lil Jesse for a few years before we introduce siblings. Plus, really- I am not ready for another pregnancy just yet. I have just discovered the wonders of laying on my tummy, having energy, being able to get 6 hours sleep and feel refreshed, not waddling, fitting into prepregancy clothes, having a bladder that can hold a liter and not flinch, etc. Plus, I want to look sexy for awhile before I ruin it all over again.
Well hope you enjoyed that. I needed to brag, talk out a lot of the emotions I have been having lately. It makes me feel better.
But baby details.. we put lil Jesse in the bathtub with me yesterday he started floating and (OMG) swimming. He was smiling and really seemed to enjoy it. Apparently he still has that swimming reflex from birth. I was told that studies show that babies <3 months that are exposed to water are more confident and better swimmers as they age than their non-exposed counterparts. Weird, and I dunno how true it is but he seems to love water and REALLY enjoyed the bath. It was the coolest thing I have seen in a long time!
He may be 6 and a half weeks old- but I love my baby boy!!
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