Missing the Fun Parts of Pregnancy

I really miss being pregnant sometimes. Don't get me wrong.. sleeping on my belly, sleeping the entire night without having to get up once to pee (let alone 4-5 times), my arms no longer going numb while I sleep, the lack of a waddle when I walk or the intense pain on my pubis symphysis, or simply being able to stay in the OR and not want to pass out once- is all cherished. But somethings are just not as good as when I was pregnant.....

Take for instance- orange juice when I was pregnant with Jesse. I couldn't get enough orange juice!! We basically had a love affair, me and orange juice. And now I taste it... and it's just orange juice. I could live the rest of my life and not drink orange juice again and feel like I didn't miss out.

On 8 Central today they had these glorious chocolate chip cookies I had once while I was pregnant. They are filled with fudge. And they were good. Great in fact. But I swear when I was pregnant the heavens resounded and God spoke his personal and infinite love for me... these cookies were THAT good. But not now. They are good.. but not the same. No heaven's resounding. No God speaking to me.

And the worst of them all was tonight. I have been feeling crummy with a migraine this afternoon/evening and thought a bath might cheer me up and help me feel better. I made the tub the perfect temperature and even brought a book (my pregnany relaxation techniques relived) and as I let the tub swallow me in its splendor.. I was disappointed. It was ok, but not great. It didn't have the same effect that a swirling baby being released from the intense pressure to my back had.

A year ago Jesse was taking me to the ER because I was having intense abdominal and back cramping that put me in tears and we were so scared we were going to lose little Jesse. As you all know, luckily that was not the case and our little angel has literally transformed our lives and made us better people.

I am so glad he is here and I can play with him and snuggle on him. But I miss our bond we had. It was special. Our new bond is great- hey smiles and giggles at almost everything I do or say. But I try not to tear up when he displays behaviors of "mom, put me down now. I need to play and grow on my own." I know it's what's best for him and for me.. honestly, I couldn't go on being pregnant forever (that's only true on Family Guy) but I hope next time I will take the time to cherish those feelings instead of "oh, that's interesting" or " I am too nauseous to CARE."

But for now, I wanna spend time with my family and not think on it again until the time comes where Jesse is going to be getting a sibling and that is some years out yet. I just needed to blog it. One day I will come back to it or a kind friend will point out to me this so I can reread it and remember the fun parts of pregnancy. :)